Query : Life
I am suddenly burdened by what I've been doing these past few months, or perhaps longer. Sometimes, I look at other people, and am amazed at the things they engage themselves in, with the time that they have. And then I realize, that the time that we have, is exactly the same. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week, and so on. And time, as we grow older, seems to be picking up the pace, even accelerating, perhaps because experience results in routine, the rendering of new tasks or challenges into the simple humdrum activity that we face everyday, so much so that we are no longer stimulated the way we used to be, even if we are still equally occupied, and time moves on. I suppose the crux of all this, is that I wonder if I have been making use of my time properly.
Part of me feels like every moment of every day should be spent doing something constructive, self-improving, learning, building myself up. But by what measure? Maybe I could console myself, because I know that we are not meant to gather treasures for ourselves here on Earth, but as we live as He wants us to, we are gathering up for ourselves treasures in Heaven. But am I living like He wants me to? Am I seeking Him with all my heart? I have my lapses. I wish I could be certain. I wish I had more faith.
"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I wish I had more drive, more passion, more initiative, a greater curiosity that would propel me to become more inquisitive, to be more thorough with the things that I did - more productive. Thats the word I was looking for. Am I enjoying myself enough when I intend to? Am I learning enough when I study? Am I focused enough to identify my failings and driven enough convert ignorance to knowledge? Knowledge to skill? Skill to success? Hm. Or am I looking at things the wrong way? Haha. argh.
I've taken to saying this more and more often : If in doubt, pray.
Then again, if anything, and I really mean anything, pray.
Thats the only answer that I have to anything. So far.
Part of me feels like every moment of every day should be spent doing something constructive, self-improving, learning, building myself up. But by what measure? Maybe I could console myself, because I know that we are not meant to gather treasures for ourselves here on Earth, but as we live as He wants us to, we are gathering up for ourselves treasures in Heaven. But am I living like He wants me to? Am I seeking Him with all my heart? I have my lapses. I wish I could be certain. I wish I had more faith.
"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I wish I had more drive, more passion, more initiative, a greater curiosity that would propel me to become more inquisitive, to be more thorough with the things that I did - more productive. Thats the word I was looking for. Am I enjoying myself enough when I intend to? Am I learning enough when I study? Am I focused enough to identify my failings and driven enough convert ignorance to knowledge? Knowledge to skill? Skill to success? Hm. Or am I looking at things the wrong way? Haha. argh.
I've taken to saying this more and more often : If in doubt, pray.
Then again, if anything, and I really mean anything, pray.
Thats the only answer that I have to anything. So far.
posted by Joel at 1:48 AM
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