Random rants

Something occured to me in the shower today, thoughts spurred more thoughts, and there I was. -I'd just gotten back from Sharline's 21st celebration. Happy Birthday once again Sharline! If you ever read this. Thanks for having us!- I started thinking about my family, what we're like..and the things that my upbringing encouraged. The principles we're bred to embrace, mindsets we learned to cultivate. Perhaps it was more of my brothers influence on me, I'm not entirely sure right now. But I think I only realized it during my time in ns. I'll never forget what Sush said to me over dinner, because it hurt, it disappointed, it made me regret not doing whatever it is I could have, to prevent it. It made me realize why I hated ns so much, even though a part of me would've even...enjoyed it...somehow. Ok, maybe not enjoy, but aspired to excel. I realized that ns stole a part of me away, and I need to get it back. I wonder how, because right now, I'm already me, and I dont't know how I'd ever change that.