For lack of a better title.

I promised myself that I'd blog about happier things, hm, and while there are things to be happy about...I've let my mood by clouded over by the unrelenting omnipresent shadow of...the need to mug, essentially because I feel like I know next to nothing. And I keep thinking of chinese speaking patients and approaches to giddiness, because of that thrashing I received on friday. History taking shouldn't be a problem now, its already been 5 weeks of medicine. I suppose my approaches to various symptoms/diseases need some work. Hm. Alright, enough lamenting. Get a grip.

Went down to Bedok reservoir with Li, Joachim and Chiara to watch the wakeboarding world cup finals today. Peng decided to make an appearance too, with a church friend in tow. We probably spent more time standing around sweating than enjoying the show. Coz there wasn't much of a show to watch. In 2 hours, we caught 8 wake-boarders strut their stuff on the water, all the while standing uncomfortably in the hot sun. Reminds me of how I need a tan. I realize I ended up talking more than watching, which was good, in a sense, even if I did miss a lot of the action (and there wasn't much), coz I seriously needed to catch up with some of the meddies outside of TTSH..and have a life.

And tomorrow, another whirlwind week shall begin, another case report due, another visit to my cofm patient, hm. Bleah, acute case of work-always-in-the-brain-disease. Help.

Words fail me

"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." Matthew 18:18

The above-mentioned verse occupied my thoughts today as I got home. A reminder of a long-standing problem, festering, rotting, eating its way toward destruction. And again, as usual, I brush it off. Transient angst, without the proper response. Maybe it isn't such an issue at all. Maybe I'll regret it when the time comes. Maybe I can't do anything about it anyway.

Ok, well, its been some time since I've paid attention to this place. And no, I haven't always been brooding this way over the past few weeks. Much more the opposite actually. But I still can't help but feel like I always over-think things. Always asking, questioning, speculating, postulating, assuming, imagining - a victim of my own insecurities. Even when I try. Its only trying.

We're our own worst enemies. Or maybe it's just me.

Perspective.

Thank God for dreams.

Now, if we could only make sense of them.

Argh. Medicine. Time's slipping away.